somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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