i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
