I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
