where does the pee come out of this thing
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
