did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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