Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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