come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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