Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
two words: eviction party
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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