only if we run a train.
done.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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