I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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