I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
