I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
