i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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