xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
