i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
nutella sex= disaster
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
