do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
