and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
