i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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