Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
