I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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