tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I had to cum in my sink.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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