its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
please come you make the beer taste better
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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