You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
