Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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