i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
