people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
