Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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