so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
