this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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