? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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