I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
