I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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