Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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