It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
