Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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