I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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