piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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