so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I need moral support for this bender
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
