Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
