never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize