i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
