Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
that is very illegal...i love you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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