He is an equal opportunity slut.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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