You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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