You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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