i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just had sex on a roof
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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