how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
