Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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