the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
