Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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