you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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