Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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