hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
MIDGETS
????
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
