Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
