She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
