His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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