Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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