Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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