Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
