How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize