That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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